Week 35 in the year of pleasure
Hello.
I’m not actually here this week. I’m packing. Getting ready to move house.
I thought it might be a little easier, more of a pleasure, if I allowed myself to concentrate on the house move and have invited friends to come and give their pleasure reports in my place.
Yay…happy all round.
Let me introduce Moriah again, who is writing her version of the pleasure report this week for the second time.
Coach, teacher, champion of consciousness and all round quite wonderful woman, doing great things in the world.
I’m very glad to call her my friend.
You can read more about and from Moriah here and here.
The Pleasure Report from Moriah
Pleasure & Pain- Real or Illusion?
Well, what a mad time this feels right now. Highs and lows in equal measure
and with what feels like equal intensity. But is it all just an illusion? Is
it real? Or is it just a matter of perspective?
Savouring the Magic
Let me expand a little. Following on from my last Guest Blog post, I
delivered the Talk on the Magic of Presence and it flowed well, encouraging
feedback was received and several people experienced significant shifts and
insights. I felt a mix of relief, joy, encouragement, excitement &
exhilaration. I knew that the birthing of my new work had begun. I was on a
high and determined to enjoy it fully given the anxiety I had felt during
the week leading up to the talk. So, I did just that. I savoured the moment.
And I felt oh so grateful.
Testing times
The day after I returned home, I was driving along a dual carriageway when
my clutch failed and I lost power. Having got over to the verge at the side
of the road I called for help. Help came eventually however it took 6 hours
before my car was picked up and I began my journey home. I stayed very
centred within myself even though my mind insisted on working out how much
this might cost and how long it would take to fix. I very calmly kept
returning to Stillness within myself and centredness. This is part of the
new work that I am birthing and it calmed me right down to the point of
completely letting go of the worry and frustration that had initially been
present. It worked. The process that I am birthing worked. And it worked
once again under what would normally be a challenging situation. More
insight and a little more internal celebration. And again I felt grateful
for the opportunity to “test out” my new techniques.
Realising that I’m right on track
This week I was interviewed for a local radio show in Manchester and I had
the inkling to go pull up some of the poems that I wrote 8 years ago in case
I wanted to read them aloud as part of the interview. Well, the first one
that I found on file made me laugh out loud and brought tears of joy and
amazement to my eyes. The poem is called From the Silence, Wisdom is born.
The words that followed match completely the work that I am now doing. The
new work being born through me is all about the wisdom, and alignment to our
true self that Stillness brings. I knew this to be true when I wrote the
poem in November 2002 however what I didn’t know at the time was how to
achieve this. Now, my new work involves some very specific techniques that
teach me and others exactly how to go within and find the answers. I
couldn’t believe the pure perfection of that moment and the synchronicity
involved. And I was grateful.
Feeling the perfection of our Design
In that moment I absolutely knew that there is a plan, what I call a Design
for our life here on earth. I felt the coming together of years of personal
development work and other work projects and practical steps taken, all
coming together into one beautiful golden thread within me. All parts of me
and my path now merging into One. This was more than pure pleasure. It felt
miraculous to me. And still does, even though what happened this morning
temporarily brought a big black cloud.
The “Financial Whammy”
Today’s “low.” This morning I was told that the estimate for my car’s repair
had increased from £700 to £1300. Now, it’s a 7 year old second hand car and
so sums need to be made to discover whether it’s worth repairing or part
exchanging and then investigations made about how to fund buying another
car. Now, when I write about this, it’s very matter of fact. When I took the
call, the emotional impact was one of overwhelm and almost despair, knowing
that I expect an accountant’s bill imminently as well as a tax bill to pay.
This definitely felt painful. It felt particularly difficult as I had taken
August off from working with clients to spend time with my teenage sons and
to give space for the new work to emerge and make itself known and being
self- employed, my income fell. This was known and ok until this morning
when I heard how much it was going to cost to fix the car. It took a while
to get perspective and 2 hours later I am just seeing the gift and feeling
gratitude.
So, pleasure and pain – simply a matter of perspective?
And this brings me to my original ponderings over are pain and pleasure
“real” as such or are they illusions? What makes something pleasurable or
painful? Is it about how desirable we find the experience? Or is it our
emotional attachment to feelings and experiences in our life that have us
respond or react the way that we do? In my case, could it be that I am still
more attached to needing money than I had thought? If this is so, then it
would take a large figure to show me just how attached and dependent I still
am. Is there still a part of me that feels hopeless in this kind of
situation- a bit of a victim in which things are “done to me” and I have no
control? Possibly. Is it because I was feeling tired and overwhelmed with a
long “to do” list? Definitely. The financial whammy came at a time when I
was feeling vulnerable and so the impact of the situation would ensure that
it reached me at a deep level. And it has. And now, with this insight I
feel grateful as I can now choose to respond rather than react.
When Stillness restores well -being and allows wisdom to be heard and felt
and known
And now as I centre myself, I can see various reasons why it might be a good
time to change my car even though it is not immediately obvious how I would
fund it. And the emotional sting has dissipated and I have moved into a more
neutral place of allowing where I’m not feeling the pain but I am feeling
the pleasure of not feeling the pain! And as I move deeper into Stillness I
allow the whirlpool of emotions to settle and I allow myself to move into a
more deeply held resourceful state. And I breathe. And I wait for clarity.
It seems to me that the Truth is …it’s how we judge what happens to us as
“good” or “bad” and our social conditioning and therefore it’s also about
how we respond. Perhaps it’s how we reach a place of being able to choose how
we respond…for me I now know that this comes through my stillness practice
where I can simply access me as consciousness. From that place of stillness
I feel so much more resourceful and I know that I get the clarity about what
to do next, even if the “do next” is – do nothing!
And so I am off into Stillness now and I wish you a resourceful, hope
–filled week.
You can listen to Moriah’s interview
Fri 24th 12-2pm or Sun 26th 4-6pm by following this link;
