Love from the inside out – an alternative Valentine’s evening



I always intended to run a Valentine’s day event


One for single women, who weren’t desperate but didn’t want to be single forever either


An event where The Pleasure Assessor questionaire could do what it has been doing so well, and help people find good things in their lives (and no there’s nothing Ann Summers about the pleasure assessor, not that kind of pleasure)

Help them find good things they’d maybe stopped noticing, since they’d been concentrating on the lack of a partner, and help them focus on the one or two things that would make a real difference if they were to transform

So their lives would be pretty damn good, with or without a partner



There’s a lot of push in the world of single women

Got to ‘put yourself out there’ and let people see you

I don’t know many single women who feel full of relish at the prospect of ‘putting themselves out there’

And when you feel that your life isn’t pretty damn good, then you look a bit less than pretty damn good when you do put yourself out there

Catch 22


And so getting on with life becomes the strategy. But with an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with being single

And there’s the lack of other options to ‘getting out there’ and we’re back full circle to putting a brave face on and forcing yourself to do something you really don’t want to and you’re maybe not really ready for anyway


My Valentine’s day event was going to suggest an alternative


A version of getting on with life, but one where the making of a life that’s pretty damn good is an active thing

So that there will come a day when you really do feel pretty damn good and actually you do feel like getting out there

And when you do, it will be obvious to everyone how pretty damn good things are for you

And…well….catch 22 gone


And no forcing necessary and no going out there before you’re ready, pressure’s off

And to do all that supported by a group of like-minded women who encourage and cheer you on, listen and commiserate with your failures, listen and get happy with you for your successes


So this was all going to be lovely. I thought I was going to lead the event and I still will, I just didn’t know that I would also be single at the time of the event

I’m still moving from shock to denial with brief spells of acceptance about my own break up and am benefiting enormously from the circling round of groups of women friends and am all the more sure that I want to offer this event, and to provide a place where our aims are to make things pretty damn good and where you’re not on your own doing it


And so it will be.

An in person event in Hitchin, Hertfordshire on Valentine’s evening


If you know a single woman who you think might like this approach to singledom and who would benefit from the support of doing it together with a group of other women do please point them in this direction


If there are more people interested than the 10 maximum for the evening, I’ll run another one. Just not on Valentine’s evening

Not local but want to do this?

If you’re interested but not local, get in touch and let me know.

I could design a teleclass version that you can telephone or skype in for, with an online group for the post event circling round and supporting.




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