Give Peace a Year – Meeting five


Meeting number five


With the aim of peace, everywhere, starting here, now, transforming violence in life, one word, thought or deed at a time.

And because

it’s not the slog that will get us there, it’s the joy

to balance things up there will also be examples of things that warmed our hearts
Starting where transformation is needed, examples from the fifth meeting this week on Thursday 21st April



1.Phrases with inequality built in

‘fallen woman’,  pregnant outside of marriage, and deemed to have ‘fallen from grace’.

What were the men involved with  pregnancies outside of marriage called?

Looking for the language of shared responsibility



The bluebells are out.

These, in the photo above, are in the woods one minute from my front door.


2.Phrases with layered meaning 

she fell pregnant…

does falling pregnant, rather than becoming pregnant, mean that it was an accident, unplanned, a mistake?

coined at a time when an unplanned pregnancy would put a woman in a very vulnerable position and if outside of marriage, could be potentially devastating.

And with a subtly implied fault on the woman? seeing as there’s an absence of labels for men’s part in an unplanned pregnancy

This was heard recently describing a planned pregnancy and a question raised about whether the phrase has passed into current usage without awareness of the potentially critical meaning.



A wee man, two years old, giving his toy to each of the three adults there in turn, taking care to include us all.


3. language used to threaten, create fear and provoke a reaction

‘ force schools to become academies’

‘impose a contract on junior doctors’

who chose that language?

ministers to register a position of power?


journalists/producers to provoke and polarise reactions for a combative phone in that they imagine will increase the audience numbers?


Arun Gandhi describes emotional and physical violence, in his foreword to Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.

He describes how his grandfather M.K. Gandhi taught him to see that violence, where the hurt done was emotional rather than physical, is more insidious than physical violence, and how it generates anger and a violent response from the victim.

“And so it is emotional violence that fuels the fire of physical violence. It is because we don’t understand or appreciate this that our efforts to work for peace have not fructified or that each peace has been temporary.

How can we extinguish a fire if we don’t first cut off the fuel that ignites the inferno? ”


Next in person meeting

Thursday 5th May, 7.30 – 9pm

The Salisbury Arms Hotel, Hertford

Dates for the rest of the year here
Guidelines for the group here
Email to let me know if you’re coming and I’ll make sure there’s a seat

Focus –

Words, the language we consume and adding the language we use to talk to others or ourselves.

Plus – now adding thoughts

Examples of violence in thought and in the language we are surrounded by and consume which we would like to be otherwise.

If, there’s an extra need for empathy for ourselves as we begin to look at the violence of our own thoughts, have a read here for some guidance with that


– examples of violent language and/or thoughts
– the translation if you already know how you’d like it to be
– examples of the heartwarming, so as to remember that love and peace are there in the world

Bring the heartwarming in whatever balance is good for your heart.

Your feel fine balance might be one heartwarming example for ten violent examples,

you might need ten heartwarming ones for every one violent one, or in equal measure…

adjust according to your heart’s needs. I think that my heart has grown very heavy looking at the state of the world this past few years, I may need to bring many more heartwarming examples for some time to rebalance my nervous system and lift my heart again.







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